This is sort of a difficult concept to articulate, but lately I’ve been feeling like, in general, I’m enjoying most forms of entertainment less and less. And up until very recently, I had thought that this was across the board.
I have a future blog post pending called “I’m asking too much of entertainment like movies” which will go over many similar topics, but I think this is still distinct.
What I’ve realized lately is that actually, I still really appreciate the things I love. It’s just the stuff that I don’t really care about that I’m enjoying less and less.
It’s a similar concept to how I feel consuming THC makes you feel. It’s easy to believe that it will simply make anything better. You’d think it would lower your threshold of quality so that you can enjoy anything.
But in my experience, it doesn’t at all. It only enhances things you would have enjoyed anyway.
I have a specific example of this recently. I went and saw Avatar 2 when it first came out, and I thought it would be a good experience after taking an edible.
But I found I didn’t enjoy it. I felt like there was barely a plot, that it went on too long, and that there just wasn’t any thread to pull you through and keep you interested.
It was beautiful, of course, but I thought the story was just terrible.
I thought maybe I was just too high to follow it, which of course is a reasonable thought. So I decided to go see it again totally sober.
And my conclusion was exactly the same. I was right the first time.
Much like when consuming THC, as time goes, on, things that I think are bad are becoming less and less enjoyable.
But today I watched an episode of Entourage and had an epiphany that actually I am really enjoying it. Obviously I could write a whole other post about the merits (or lack thereof) of this particular show, but the fact remains that I enjoy it deeply.
I also just saw the movie “Hustle” shortly after Avatar 2 for the second time, and I was surprised at just how much more I enjoyed it. It actually has a proper story arc and is generally… Good.
I just don’t have the patience for poorly-written things anymore.
So while I’ve determined I just can’t watch terrible things anymore, that doesn’t mean I can’t deeply enjoy quality content. I just need to be much more discerning in what I watch.
I think this might just be part of getting older. Possibly I just value my time a lot more now, I’m not sure.
A large part of this is anhedonia, brought on (I believe) by depression. Though some of my most valued activities seem to be more resistant to it, like disc golf, Dota, etc.