I Seem to Have Lost Most of my Initiative Since the Pandemic Started

I had lots of great plans and initiatives going into the pandemic. You can see a lot of it just by reading my posts here.

But then, like most people, I was generally discouraged once the world grinded to a halt. I was distracted constantly by the news and the general anxiety of it all.

A lot of my initiatives fell to the wayside. Despite actually having much more time on my hands, I never seemed to be able to proceed with anything.

And I’m sad to say that initiative never really seemed to come back.

Sure, I’d like to grow my business and generally do things to improve. But I’m not doing it. I feel like I’m not really doing anything at all.

So what is it? What happened?

Was it just literally that the weight of the pandemic was enough to crush my spirit permanently?

I have a hard time believing that.

It’s understandable that I would be distracted and lose sight of things for a time. I think that happened to everyone.

But over time, I suspect I just fell into some bad habits. And I need to fix them.

Perhaps a good fix would be to avoid all news sources for a while. Perhaps disconnecting and having a reset would be great for me.

And I should try to do a lot of self-reflecting to figure out what it is and how I want to proceed.

I’ll try to circle back on this topic in a couple weeks and see if I have any progress.

It’s Better to Invite One Person than 10 – And Invite Them Early

I’ve only recently fully realized that in general, it’s much better to ask to spend time with one person than it is 10.

The thought occurred as I thought about my current (still relatively large) friend group in Minnesota. It’s often quite difficult to get any of them to come to something, let alone all of them.  We have an old group thread going at all times, and most invites are just broadcast in there to little response.

But if I message someone individually, I virtually always get a response. If I ask a friend, “hey, are you free next week to watch a movie?”, it’s near-certain that it will happen.

Unlike if I were to ask in the group thread, “anyone want to come over for a bonfire tonight?”, which typically results in nothing.

I think there are a number of reasons why this is the case which I’ll discuss, but I think the primary reason simply comes down to valuing people and making them feel special.

When you broadcast something out to a crowd, they’ll feel just like everyone else. You’re sending the message: “I’m lonely and bored” instead of the much better message, “I’d like to spend time with you.

And that matters to people.

It feels good when someone goes out of their way to spend time with you. And you’re very likely to respond to such a request positively.

This isn’t to say that group settings aren’t fun or worth the effort, just making an observation. I enjoy very much my time even with a single friend at a time, so if my goal is to simply socialize and see my friends, I’m probably much better off reaching out personally.

I think in a lot of cases, it may even turn into hanging out with additional people even though you originally invited just one, and that’s great.

And then of course there’s the point of inviting people early.

Probably for much the same reason, people are way more likely to respond positively if you invite them early. Waiting until an evening and throwing a flyer to see if somebody wants to spend time with you sends the message that you’re just lonely and you don’t value them or their time enough to plan ahead.

But if you say, “hey, are you free next Wednesday?”, they are much more likely to respond positively and want to spend time with you.

And of course there’s the purely logistical reason that they are far less likely to already have plans if you ask ahead of time. Worst case, they could suggest a different time if they are already busy.

I definitely value my time with my friends and I think that, going forward, I’m going to try to plan at least 2-3 weekly social activities ahead of time for the entirety of the time that I’m home.

I think now I have a much better idea of how to do that.

 

I Need to Eliminate or Heavily Throttle Harmful Distractions

I’ve decided that I need to completely eliminate harmful distractions like Imgur, aimless news scrolling, and mindless YouTubing.

When I engage in these activities, I just turn into a zombie. I keep going and going and it sucks all of my energy out, preventing me from getting anything else done.

I think this is what happens to most people when they use Instagram, TikTok, and other similar apps.

It just constantly hits you with dopamine until you’re completely immune to it. You can’t muster the energy to get anything useful done.

And for what? Is there any real value?

For the most part, I’d argue, “no”. It’s just a huge waste of time and life.

On days when I’ve done a lot of it, I get nothing done. On days when I don’t, I get a lot done and also feel much better.

That’s really all there is to it!

So as of now, I want to severely limit all of it, especially during the work day. I can still look at the news but I need to limit it to once or twice per day.

With that, I should be much more productive and happier.

Lots of Things are Easy to Do After Sufficient Time is Spent on Them – But It’s Still Impressive that Someone Did It

I’m not sure how I can express that any more succinctly in the title, but here is what I mean.

For a long time, I always sort of wrote off certain video games because, “all you have to do is spend a bunch of time on it and you’ll beat everyone else”.

Generally, I was referring to MMORPGs where you literally just spend time and level-up. Once you’re at a sufficient level, you’ll be unstoppable except by others of a similar level.

Instead, I preferred games that reset every time. Where your past progress didn’t matter: only your current skill.

But what’s the difference?

If you spend time on anything, you’ll get better. Sure, some people might have pre-existing skills, or a better mindset that allows them to advance faster, but at the end of the day: the more time you spend on something, the better you get.

Period.

Not only that, but there are lots of things that essentially anyone can achieve, if they only spend the requisite time.

For example, learning a language. There’s really no big secret about it. If you spend enough time practicing, you’ll learn how to speak a language.

Again, some people might learn slightly faster, but nobody ever became proficient at a language without putting in a great deal of time.

In the past, maybe I was dismissive of things that simply required time because I believed in the erroneous idea of “innate talent” or simply the superiority of an individual, in all ways. Which are both just stupid.

“Natural talent” has been proven to be almost entirely a myth. Sure, to be a star athlete, you might need to be born with the right body type. But I guarantee you all of those super “athletic” individuals spent a ton of time to become skilled in those areas. Nobody is born knowing how to throw a perfect spiral.

To a large extent, any skill or talent is simply the accumulation of the time put into it.

And it’s only now that I’m realizing: that’s not any reason to dismiss it or to find it any less impressive.

Sure, anyone could achieve advanced proficiency in a language if they spent 1000-2000 hours practicing in it. So what’s the difference between someone who learned another language and someone who didn’t?

They actually did it.

They had the dedication, the perseverance, and the resolve to continue doing something that’s difficult until they mastered it. And that is impressive.

So ultimately, the most impressive thing about a person may not be their abilities or talents at all.

It may simply be their dedication to learning and improvement.