I rather sad thought crossed my mind yesterday, and it was that I no longer seem to daydream or fantasize about things vividly anymore.
It’s as if my once vibrant and powerful imagination has since gone.
Obviously I continue imagining hypothetical situations and have some kind of picture in my head but it’s not the same as it was. There’s a sense that the scenes aren’t filled out. I don’t feel as immersed in the fantasy.
I’m not sure what could cause that. Is it just a normal part of growing older? Have a started taking the world too seriously as a result of my high-power corporate job and need to learn to connect with my inner child like in a 90s movie?
I’m not exactly sure!
I feel like it has other implications, though.
I feel like if I can’t put together a vivid fantasy, I probably also can’t allow myself to become truly immersed in a movie, in music, or even in an experience with others.
And that… Tracks. It seems like that’s accurate. The extent to which I can truly become fully immersed in things has definitely diminished, particularly with entertainment. Perhaps less so with in-person interactions but it does feel like maybe I’m a bit less present.
Maybe I should put some effort towards fixing all of this.
Maybe I should work hard to imagine scenes and environments that are as vivid and detailed as possible. Or maybe I should pick up meditation and see if that helps.
I’m not totally sure if there’s a real problem here or not, it’s just something I noticed and figured I should think more about.
There was a real problem, and it was depression. I think this was just yet another symptom.