So I’m starting to just generally feel better, and my sleep has improved, and in general things are just better. And I think it’s just because I’m finally relaxing and don’t feel like I have to just keep going nonstop.
I think that for several months, I pretty much just felt a constant stress and anxiety. I had a bunch of projects going simultaneously with aggressive timelines and constant issues, and I always had the looming problems of half-planned trips that not only required urgent planning attention, but would also take me away from being able to address everything else.
And I just felt it, constantly. I couldn’t truly enjoy anything because in the back of my mind I was constantly worried about the other things.
It was a physical reaction. I assume that it was just the regular stress response, but spread out over months without any breaks. As we know well, that leads to chronic inflammation and other problems. It’s definitely not a good long-term state.
But I’m finally starting to feel better.
I think I do really just need to relax. Obviously the solution isn’t to just “relax”, since that may be nearly impossible depending on the circumstances.
But I need to be careful about my circumstances to make sure I CAN relax.
I certainly need to be careful about what projects I take on, and especially the timing of them. I had some overlap and that proved to be a problem.
They also overlapped with trips in which I had no internet and wouldn’t have time anyway to manage them, which is far from ideal.
Going forward, for projects that need constant management, I should only ever take them on if I’m going to be fully available with plenty of wiggle room on either end.
And if I’m burnt out, I need to be okay just taking a break from traveling or whatever else I’m doing. I think that the next month and a half will be quite restorative.