Category: Habits

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Ignoring Things to Give Them Time to Resolve vs. Being Proactive

I’ve heard two approaches to dealing with all of the tasks work and life through at you. Both seem to be championed by modern thinkers and yet they are diametrically opposed.

Supposedly Napoleon would wait a week or two before opening any letter he received. The idea was that most problems would resolve themselves, and there’s no sense wasting time on something that doesn’t actually need your help.

It makes sense when you think about it, and in my experience is absolutely true.

It’s easy to assume it’s just a terrible idea and that Napoleon happened to succeed in spite of this poor strategy. You’d think that in war, particularly, having rapid knowledge and acting on it would be a game changer. And my understanding is that it was once it was possible.

And yet, there’s some logic to it.

It is completely contrary to what I’d consider to be a considerably more popular idea among efficiency experts and self-help gurus. The idea that you need to proactively manage everything so that you avoid ever having to put out fires.

This is certainly more of the approach I’ve attempted to adopt in my life, and it does seem to be effective at making things calm and predictable and also allowing me to be as productive as possible.

It’s one of the primary components of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and basically every clone of that book ever released. Supposedly most people are just flying by the seat of their pants and simply react to avoidable emergencies as they come along.

So what do I make of this?

I want to believe there is some kind of middle ground between the two concepts. However I think the reality may be a bit more nuanced.

I’m not sure you have to be one or the other.

Something tells me that it’s more an issue of figuring out the things that are in your control, important, and also your responsibility.

Napoleon choosing to remain ignorant of problems within his empire sort of feels like procrastination. He could have simply read the letters right away and determined that he could ignore them. Or had one of his people simply respond and say that it’s their responsibility to solve it.

Or perhaps, had he delegated and established roles and responsibilities better from the start, he would have never even received the letter to begin with because the issue would have been dealt with locally.

I think there is a very small amount of middle ground for some things, however. For example, my recent post suggesting that responding to emails within a day is just fine, and that responding in an hour is totally unnecessary.

I receive emails several times a week with people having issues with their devices or their website that they quickly resolve on their own and let me know they don’t need me.

I think there’s room for that.

But for the most part, if I’m focusing on things that are important, in my control, and my responsibility, I shouldn’t be wasting too much time on other tasks regardless.

I suspect that people who employ the Napoleon strategy really only benefit from it because they end up only putting time towards the really important things, and end up ignoring most of the distractions.

That feels like more of a side-effect than the actual intention.

I have plenty of posts discussing more about that.

So overall, I’d say I can safely ignore the Napoleon approach and focus on being proactive.

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The Importance of Responding in 24 Hours, but Not 1 Hour

In my business, I consider it very important to respond to emails within 24 hours. Sometimes this gets stretched out a little depending on when emails are sent, but I always respond within the next business day.

That’s important, and it is sufficient to make my clients feel like I’m on top of things, I’m responsive, and it’s also fast enough that I don’t miss out on things or have other major problems crop up because I didn’t address something soon enough.

I also do tend to scan email more frequently, and if there’s ever an emergency, I can deal with that right away, but it’s not usually a problem.

But what’s important to note is that it is absolutely not important to me to respond within 1 hour.

I think tons of people make it their goal to respond to things immediately, and it’s just entirely pointless.

Sure, it will impress some people, but it doesn’t typically provide very much additional value, and more importantly: in order to achieve it, you have to be willing to give up a ton.

The only people I know that do this are the ones who get notifications – often audio – every single time an email arrives.

In my opinion, nobody who is doing that could possibly be producing quality work. Just like a distracted partner scrolling through Instagram ever 3 minutes on a dinner date, they simply aren’t present enough to put serious thought into things and do a good job at anything other than responding to emails quickly.

So I think 24 hours, in this case, is the sweet spot.

But this makes me wonder: what else is like this? What are some things that people (or, more relevantly: I) do that that maybe take a lot of extra work and provide little additional value?

Are there any other notable areas where I may be well outside the sweet spot?

The answer has got to be “yes”.

Some categories could be:

  • When I’m working and/or available during the day (or week)
  • The level of detail in my communications
  • Pursuit of marketing opportunities
  • How much time I spend working on the business

And the list goes on.

Of these, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. I think I’m happy with my work hours. I’m available enough but still retain flexibility for other non-work opportunities.

I perhaps do communicate a bit too much, but I do almost everything via email and I can type really fast, so I don’t feel that it takes up that much of my time.

I’ve been slacking in marketing opportunities, for sure. Writing in this blog has essentially been all I’ve done. So that one is nowhere near the sweet spot.

Likewise, working on the business has probably been slacking a bit.

There are many things I’m aware of that I could and should be doing more with. But I think I’m more curious with this blog post to determine if there’s anything else I’m actually being too aggressive in.

Nothing comes to mind, unfortunately (fortunately?). But now I’m thinking about it, and if I figure something out, I’ll write about it.

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Getting the Clients I Want OR: The Law of Attraction?

The thought came to me just now that my business has continued to grow quite well, and almost all of the business that I’ve gained is for new hosting and maintenance clients, which is actually what I want.

While we still regularly have website design projects, they are becoming less and less frequent.

Now, it doesn’t feel like I’ve actively gone out of my way to avoid website design projects. My processes are all pretty much the same for website designs and I always tell people that we do it.

If I didn’t put any more thought into it, I’d simply say that it’s the Law of Attraction. You put what you want out there and it will come to you.

And I think there’s some truth to that, but if you break it down, you can see why it works. It’s not just some mystical thing that works magically.

I put a lot of thought into how to get more hosting clients. I’ve been actively tweaking my website and marketing to better reflect that we do that. I’ve been pushing hosting and maintenance services for years, while probably downplaying design.

Meanwhile, I haven’t updated my website design portfolio in quite some time, and it needs it. That just hasn’t been a priority.

I also put a lot of work into improving our hosting services and making them as good as possible. I don’t put as much thought into design.

Little by little, both the services I provide and the quality of my messaging and marketing improves. Little changes stack up over time, to where I am now getting way more of these clients.

Maybe nothing has slipped really for website design, but all of these little things add up over time in a huge way.

And this got me thinking: just imagine how all the other little things in my life can add up over time?

The power of gradual change cannot possibly be overstated.

As long as I continue progressing and putting work into the things that are important to me, they will work out.

I just need to keep going.

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Update on Fixing my Sleep Schedule – It’s Working?

I finally have some good news about my sleep schedule. I’m doing it!

I can’t remember exactly when I most recently decided, for the nth time, to try and fix my sleep schedule, but my gut says that’s been something like 4 months, maybe more. (Update: it was September 21st, so less than 3 months ago as outlined in this post)

My main enemy is the snooze button. And in that time, I think I’ve only gone back to sleep after my alarm went off a single time, and that was because I was sick and made a conscious choice to sleep more.

I’ve been consistently getting up early, often before the alarm goes off. I’m far more productive and things are going well.

I’ve found, though, that it’s very closely related to how much I drink, which has also been much lower in that same time frame. Making sure to avoid heavy drinking days entirely seems to be fairly important to the success of this effort.

But it’s been good. In total, I’m spending way less time in bed, which gives me an extra hour or more each day to be productive.

But I also have way more energy and am just generally more productive in every way.

I’m hoping I can just keep this up and never have to go back to the way things were. I sort of feel like this has been my biggest obstacle for a long time and now I’m finally making good progress on it.

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I Need to be Mindful of What Activities I Truly Value

This thought crossed my mind and it was a bit shocking to me that I had never really considered it before.

What activities do I actually value? How do I want to spend my time?

It’s easy to just assume that you are always considering this and that the manner in which you spend your time always reflects what you value.

But the more I think about it, the more I think that’s a foolish assumption that also happens to be incorrect.

It’s easy to get stuck in the same old routine and do things simply because it’s what you have done.

Without a plan in place and some conscious effort, you’re also way more likely to simply choose easy things versus good things. You may even subconsciously justify it by convincing yourself that the easier thing is what you really wanted.

In my own life, I think there are obvious examples of things that I do that I don’t actually value that much. While I’m certainly not bad at all compared to the average American, I still spend a fair amount of time watching movies and TV shows.

And I really don’t find any of that time fulfilling. Even simply reading a book is virtually always a better use of my time. So in most cases, I feel that I should be doing that.

I’ve had the thought lately, too, that something like disc golf is actually surprisingly rewarding, and something that I value a great deal. It’s outdoors, it’s active, it’s social, it’s fun, and I really enjoy an activity that I’m always trying to improve at.

I think it’s really important to be aware of things like that and to plan accordingly.

I think it’s also important to be mindful of specifically what it is about an activity that I enjoy, so I can focus on what’s important.

For example, as a 30-something that spends time with lots of other 30-somethings, activities like going to breweries are quite common.

But what is it I value about those activities? Is it trying new beer?

No.

While that can be mildly enjoyable, what I value is spending time with my friends. That’s it.

If I keep that in mind, I think I can focus a lot more on what’s important and simply enjoy that.

But also knowing that the brewery part of things simply isn’t important to me, I can suggest other social activities that I do find more rewarding.

Going on hikes, kayaking, and doing other outdoor group activities have always been great experiences for me, and I should continue to try to emphasize those and try to plan plenty of events to do those things with my friends.

As I’m writing this, I can’t help but feel like everything I’m saying is common sense and it should always be in the back of everyone’s mind at all times.

But I’m not sure that it actually is.

In this case, I think it’s far better to state these things explicitly and make a conscious effort to determine what’s important and then focus on that.

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Neuroticism is an Expensive and Severely Limiting Trait

I think that Neuroticism is an expensive and severely limiting trait.

I feel blessed to be less neurotic than average. Probably considerably so. And only recently have I started to realize just how freeing that is.

Having traveled with others and just generally worked with others on various tasks and towards various goals, I’ve seen it all in terms of different personality types and styles.

Particularly with traveling, I’ve realized that few could do what I’m doing, and surprisingly, it has little to do with their financial state, flexibility with work, or even personal relationships.

It’s their neuroticism.

They can’t deal with minor changes in a plan, and everything has to be planned. They worry about every possible outcome and it cripples them.

It’s like life is an opportunity to accumulate a list of all the possible dangers and pitfalls available so that you can successfully avoid them.

This, of course, results in doing nothing but staying home where it’s comfortable and safe.

Which happens to be exactly what most people eventually do.

It’s almost funny, by far the #1 question I’ve ever gotten regarding my travels is, “was it safe?”

Or variations on that, such as, “weren’t you worried about getting murdered?”

People don’t ask about the culture, they don’t ask about the cool places I’ve seen, or friends I’ve made. When they think of Latin America, they only think of danger. They know they couldn’t go, because they would be too afraid.

You can chalk a lot of that up to straight up ignorance. Danger is relative. If you’ve been to Chicago, Detroit, or St. Louis, you’ve probably been to places far more dangerous than almost anywhere I’ve been.

But that’s not even the point.

Their neuroticism forces them to focus only on what could go wrong, never on what could go right. 

Still along the lines of traveling, I almost always use Airbnbs or similar rentals. Many people couldn’t do it. They’d worry that the host won’t show up on time, or that it won’t be as nice as the photos, or that the owner will rob them.

So instead, they would only ever rent a hotel in a nice tourist area.

But whereas I typically don’t spend any more than $50-70 per night to live in nice apartments, they are likely to spend $400+ per night at high-end hotels, because those are the only places they are comfortable with.

Just one example of how expensive it is to be neurotic.

Cars are another great example. For most people, the idea of their car breaking down on them while they are out is one of the most horrifying thoughts imaginable. So they only buy new or almost new, high-end cars.

Now, if you are driving reliable brands like Honda or Toyota, the difference in reliability between a car with 0 miles and one with 100,000 miles is probably fairly minimal.

But more than likely the new car will cost 3-4 times more. That’s an expensive difference, especially if they are constantly trading their car in for a newer one.

They simply cannot risk the minor inconvenience of their care ever breaking down.

I may take this to the opposite extreme of only buying high-mileage cars, and I have the privilege of having the knowledge of how to maintain them and fix them.

But a really neurotic person wouldn’t have that option even if they had the same knowledge as me.

It’s true professionally, as well. In a lot of ways.

First, a neurotic person is less likely to venture into the unknown. They are going to be less likely to try new things and learn more. They may get great at something specific, but may not advance beyond that which will hurt their career.

But I see something perhaps even worse with business owners. Often, they’ve had one bad experience or one particular fear and it’s all they can think about. When building the site, they don’t ask things like,

“How can we increase sales?”

or,

“How can we make sure that the checkout process is streamlined?”

Instead, they spend 90% of their time and focus with the site on one tiny little issue. They had one bad experience on a website that wasn’t built well, and they spend countless hours refining a part of the website that’s always worked just fine.

It’s a waste of time, but because they are paying me, it’s a waste of money, too.

Of course, there are times when it makes sense to work hard in a specific area. But people often go well beyond that and hyper-focus on something that I’ve told them, as the expert, really doesn’t need any attention.

Some of this may be getting beyond neuroticism, I suppose, but I still think it’s important to highlight.

The fact that I’m comfortable going to other countries without much of a plan and without knowing anyone, and just figure it out, is quite freeing for me. I feel like anything is possible and I enjoy that I don’t know what’s coming.

I guess I just feel sad that not everyone can experience that, and it’s often just because they are too neurotic.

That’s not a moral judgement. I think it’s just a facet of personality that I’m not sure can be changed. And obviously is associated with anxiety and mental disorders.

I just genuinely feel bad that not everyone has that freedom.

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Finally Making Changes to Sleep Pattern

First of all, it is depressing to me that I haven’t posted since April 20th. A ton has happened since then and I’m a little sad that I haven’t had time to talk about any of it.

Anyway, I do have good news. I’ve made more progress in the last week to my sleep than I had in years.

Basically I started listening to the Huberman Lab podcast, and it has some excellent information and recommendations for improving sleep.

I’ve been getting up without my alarm the last few days and starting to sleep better. I’ve been up generally early and have been much more productive overall.

The key is to just tie in to a lot more physiological processes than I have been to help me develop a proper rhythm. Brute-forcing a habit hasn’t worked for me in the past and I think it’s mostly just because I didn’t understand the physiological processes that control a circadian rhythm.

So I started getting up early and actually going outside and exposing my self to the morning light, which helps set your clock for the day. Specifically, I haven’t been using my phone at all, and I’ve gone outside and hot tubbed for a bit first thing in the morning.

In addition to being great for the light reasons, it’s also just easier for me to get up and do something I enjoy vs. say, a strenuous run or something.

And then I’ve also made an effort to be outside for a bit around sunset, which also helps regulate your internal clock and circadian rhythm.

And then of course, I’m trying not to stay up too late. Falling asleep has still been a challenge but I feel like it’s getting easier every day as I fall into this new rhythm.

I’ve also been just generally much more productive, though that may literally be just because I’m getting up earlier.

I also have avoided news and entertainment sites (aren’t they the same thing at this point?) almost completely, which in turn has also made me much more calm and focused, and generally improved my mood.

All good things!

I’m really hoping I can continue all of this and just keep improving. The more I learn, the more I realize that my terrible sleep habits are likely causing lots of other problems in my life, or at the very least: preventing me from performing optimally.

So this is just one thing that’s going well, but I hope to continue improvement from here.

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Got up Early, Was Super Productive, Didn’t Regret it

I was hoping I’d be able to get up early this morning to do a quick hike up to the Puerto Vallarta Mirador, but I was worried about being able to get up anywhere near sunrise.

Part of what is difficult for me is that I can’t normally go to bed “early”. I have to go to bed after it’s already late, or I won’t be able to fall asleep. However, last night I was feeling weirdly tired at 10:30pm and decided to just sleep, and succeeded!

I was able to wake up early (for me), get my morning activities done, do my hike, work, and proceed to complete a whole bunch of other things, too, with time to spare.

In short: I was incredibly productive.

It’s obviously no shock to me that waking up early leads to productivity, but I guess I just needed a concrete reminder. I probably have literally not gotten up that early in… Months. Many months.

And my alarm was only at 7:30am, isn’t that depressing?

So I think I really need to work on making a change and making this more my normal routine. I’ve got a lot to do, especially once I get home, and I’d like to be efficient with it.

Also, it just felt good to be up early in the cool air and to be productive. There were way fewer people out and it was just nice. I’ll bet I could get up and do photography, too, and it would be better on account of there being way fewer people around.

 

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I Don’t Necessarily Have to be Profound and Deeply Introspective All the Time

Today’s topic really applies just to this blog, though I suppose it applies elsewhere in life, too.

Whenever I sit down to write, I feel great pressure for it to be very meaningful and likely to positively affect change in major way in my life.

But it doesn’t have to!

One of the stated purposes of this blog when I first started was to simply practice writing. I’m pretty sure I had read a book that said the best way to improve your writing skills was simply to practice every single day, for at least 10 minutes or so.

So to that end: it doesn’t really matter what I write!

I do, of course, want to entertain and help my future reader (me). But who’s to say it won’t be entertaining without a major purpose?

I think that simply chronicling how I feeling and some general thoughts at that time is both beneficial and entertaining. So why not do it?

Okay, this didn’t take me 10 minute to write, but at least it’s something, which is the point. Just write!

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I Need to Eliminate or Heavily Throttle Harmful Distractions

I’ve decided that I need to completely eliminate harmful distractions like Imgur, aimless news scrolling, and mindless YouTubing.

When I engage in these activities, I just turn into a zombie. I keep going and going and it sucks all of my energy out, preventing me from getting anything else done.

I think this is what happens to most people when they use Instagram, TikTok, and other similar apps.

It just constantly hits you with dopamine until you’re completely immune to it. You can’t muster the energy to get anything useful done.

And for what? Is there any real value?

For the most part, I’d argue, “no”. It’s just a huge waste of time and life.

On days when I’ve done a lot of it, I get nothing done. On days when I don’t, I get a lot done and also feel much better.

That’s really all there is to it!

So as of now, I want to severely limit all of it, especially during the work day. I can still look at the news but I need to limit it to once or twice per day.

With that, I should be much more productive and happier.