So the question today is: if I had the option to go back in time to, say, high school or college, would I do it? And if so, what would I do differently?
It’s something I’ve pondered many times. The answer to the first question is always, “yes”. But the second one is understandably harder to answer.
In essence, I feel that I’ve spent so much time since then on self-improvement. Successfully, I might add. I needed to grow so much to be able to get to where I am now.
Let’s assume that in this imagined scenario, all of the self-improvement I’ve done is lost, but I still remember everything so I know where I ended up, all of the improvement it took to get there, and what methods I used along the way.
In this case, the question then becomes: how can I fast-track the improvement in both myself and and my situation to get there more efficiently? And in the real, non-hypothetical world, how can I use those lessons to fast-track my current development?
I guess as a starting point, I should determine the positive things all of that development has led to. Upon self-reflection, I don’t think very much of it is really personality-based. Reading has taught me that personality-focused self-improvement efforts are generally not very effective and creating real change. I think it’s mostly because it’s difficult, if not impossible, to artificially alter your own personality.
The answer I keep coming back to is ‘habit’. I’ve developed good habits that have enabled any success I’ve had and generally explain all of the parts of myself that I feel are improved over what they were in my younger days.
Sure, my knowledge is greatly increased in a huge variety of areas. Some of that is just experience which comes no matter what. But perhaps an even larger portion has come from reading non-fiction books, which is a habit I’ve cultivated over the course of years.
Another large chunk comes from intentionally studying and practicing certain topics and fields.
And yes, I’m much more “mature”, but many elements of what make up maturity have been developed through intentional effort. It seems evident to me that not everyone develops much emotional intelligence beyond college.
While it’s hard to judge myself in terms of how I compare to others in this area, I can say without a doubt that my emotional intelligence is worlds better than it was in college. And that has come through habits like really listening to people, looking for subtle clues about how people are feeling, and generally putting effort towards real empathy.
I think the biggest thing I would do to improve more rapidly would be to immediately acknowledge that I had a long way to go and that immediate, deliberate, and constant improvement was necessary. I wouldn’t say that I thought I didn’t need any improvement, but I also wouldn’t say that I recognized the need to put a great deal of effort into improving either.
So that’s what I would do. Acknowledge what’s needed, recognize my own deficiencies, and then put consistent, deliberate effort in towards improving them.
Something tells me I can apply those same lessons to myself right now, too. I’m certainly more focused on improving myself now, which is great, but I’m sure more can be done.
It might be worth it to really dig deep and outline the areas in which I really want to focus now. It might even help to imagine what I’d like things to be like down the road, and try to figure out how I can get there.
Perhaps that’s a good topic for a future post.