I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon, and it is that I tend to get more emotional about imagined scenarios than real ones.
So, for example, maybe I imagine ahead of time what it’s going to feel like to see a friend for the first time after being apart for a really long time. I may actually tear up imagining the situation.
But then, when it actually happens, I don’t feel that emotional.
What gives? Shouldn’t a real situation be more moving that an imagined scenario?
I think one obvious explanation is that almost as nothing is as enjoyable or moving as we think it’s going to be. It has been well-documented in studies that most experiences don’t live up to people’s expectations for them.
Funny enough, though, I believe their recollection of those events may actually be more consistent with their original expectations, even though their experience in the moment didn’t live up to them.
I don’t think that’s the full explanation, though. For one thing, just because you have high expectations for something, doesn’t really mean that you’ll feel the full effect simply imagining it.
I think a major component is probably that I’m a lot more inhibited when I’m with people. That may very well be everyone.
I’m realizing more and more, though, that specific people may also make you particularly inhibited. Especially if they have some negative influence on you. For example, I suspect that most of my experiences spent during bad stretches of failing relationships were probably not nearly as enjoyable as I had hoped, because I was emotionally numb as a result of the tension with that other person.
But like most people, I suspect I am more inhibited with anyone than I would be alone. I think that’s mostly normal.
It would be nice to be a lot less inhibited with people I trust, though. So that might be an area I can explore a bit more.
I don’t think that I’m necessarily all that inhibited in my words or actions, but I do think there’s a strong emotional inhibition. I’m not exactly sure why that is, but I think it’s something I will definitely explore in a future post.
I’ll think more about that and write about it!