I had lots of great plans and initiatives going into the pandemic. You can see a lot of it just by reading my posts here.
But then, like most people, I was generally discouraged once the world grinded to a halt. I was distracted constantly by the news and the general anxiety of it all.
A lot of my initiatives fell to the wayside. Despite actually having much more time on my hands, I never seemed to be able to proceed with anything.
And I’m sad to say that initiative never really seemed to come back.
Sure, I’d like to grow my business and generally do things to improve. But I’m not doing it. I feel like I’m not really doing anything at all.
So what is it? What happened?
Was it just literally that the weight of the pandemic was enough to crush my spirit permanently?
I have a hard time believing that.
It’s understandable that I would be distracted and lose sight of things for a time. I think that happened to everyone.
But over time, I suspect I just fell into some bad habits. And I need to fix them.
Perhaps a good fix would be to avoid all news sources for a while. Perhaps disconnecting and having a reset would be great for me.
And I should try to do a lot of self-reflecting to figure out what it is and how I want to proceed.
I’ll try to circle back on this topic in a couple weeks and see if I have any progress.
A thought I have now: it was the alcohol. Just the alcohol.
I’m only now realizing how much of an impact alcohol has even on days when you aren’t drinking, or even haven’t been for a day. It still seems to kill initiative.
There were probably other factors, too, like falling into bad habits looking at social media and news. But alcohol almost certainly was the #1 factor. Now that I’ve greatly reduced it, I feel that drive and motivation again.
Yeah, almost certainly alcohol. At least, I think alcohol was the biggest factor. And alcohol often leads to giving in to other bad habits which make it worse (using social media, time-wasting with other things).