I had an epiphany the other day that when you feel good, you tend to enjoy things a lot more. Enjoying things isn’t really the way to feel good. It’s backwards!
Initially, the thought came to me while sipping on a pint of Guinness in Dublin with some friends. I recalled thinking during my last visit to Ireland that it was true: the Guinness there really did taste better than at home.
This time around, I’m not so sure. It seemed to be the same to me.
Regardless, I blurted out a half-formed theory that I think had been floating around in my head for some time: you enjoy everything better when you’re feeling good.
I noticed that when I was numb to the world, I tended not to enjoy… Just about anything.
And that when I was feeling really good, I became emotional about lots of things. I enjoyed things way more in general.
I think that applies even to things like taste, or music. When you’re feeling good, food tastes way better. Colors are more vivid. And music seems deeper and better.
And when you say it like that, it seems pretty obvious. Of course it’s true.
But I don’t think I’ve been living with that in mind.
Like most people, I think instinctually I’ve always had the thought, “I’m not feeling great. I need to do something enjoyable in order to feel better.”
And that’s exactly what most people do and what culture and society recommend.
Feeling bad? Treat yourself! Seek pleasure. Eat something tasty. Buy something expensive.
Maybe it’s the result of centuries of manipulation from marketing that our only solution to feeling bad is to seek material pleasure.
Regardless, I’ve found it doesn’t work very well, because those pleasures are greatly diminished if you’re depressed or generally feeling bad.
Instead of seeking out pleasure, I think we need to ask the question, “WHY am I feeling bad?” and the do our best to resolve the underlying issue.
Once again, this feels really obvious when you say it out loud, yet I’ve never heard anyone say it out loud.
A lifetime of pleasure-seeking any time you felt bad would mean that you are never, ever dealing with your actual problems and instead just trying to distract yourself.
It should be no surprise, then, that people eventually just become numb.
Obviously there’s a lot more to depression than this but I think it’s still a pretty important thing to keep in mind, and something that may prove to have a big impact on me personally.