Category: Habits

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I Shouldn’t Dismiss Things that Lack “Research Evidence”

I feel like it’s easy in today’s day and age to live and die but we call “science”. While I’m a whole-hearted believer in science, I think that it’s really important to acknowledge its shortcomings and recognize that we are often applying the results of studies far too broadly.

Nowhere is this more pronounced than it is in long-term studies of health and wellness.

At least how it’s done today, these studies aim to follow huge groups of people with diverse backgrounds and see whether a given aspect of how they live is beneficial or not.

But here’s the problem: everyone is different. What works for one person may not work for another. Some things that may be useless for one person may be life-changing to another.

Much of the time, we have no way of seeing behind the scenes to understand what’s going on or why some things work great for some people but not others.

But I’ve had an example lately where that’s not the case.

I’ve seen YouTube videos that champion the idea of “mouth taping” at night to force people to breath through their nose. Proponents claim that their live was completely changed by this simple thing.

Now, I suffer from obstructive sleep apnea. In my case, I stop breathing whether I’m breathing through my mouth or nose. Simply taping my mouth closed is not going to accomplish anything.

Likewise, many people have no problems breathing only through their nose at night, even without taping their mouth shut.

I suspect that the only people who would benefit are people who:

  • Suffer from mild sleep apnea but only when breathing through their mouth
  • Can tolerate mouth-taping

I would venture a guess that this is not a large group of people. And anyone outside of this narrowly-defined group would probably see little-to-no benefit from doing this.

If they were to do studies on mouth taping, I suspect that they would find that it’s ultimately quite negative overall and they would say that you shouldn’t do it.

And yet, some people would get significant benefit from it.

Or let’s say they did a study about diet and concluded that grains are bad for you and decrease a number of measures of health.

It may be the case that many people truly are intolerant or allergic to gluten and that these people are weighing down the results. If you were to exclude them, you may find that the remaining participants in the study are actually far healthier eating grain.

I’ve generally heard that vegetarians tend to be healthier overall, but I suspect there are variables at play that either can’t be adjusted for, or aren’t even known.

For example, it might be that many people who become vegetarian and stick to it actually have some problem digesting meat. I had a roommate that claimed even a tiny amount of residual meat on clean dishes would make him quite ill, and would insist on using only his own dishes and never mixing anything.

I’m quite incredulous of that claim, mostly because I saw him on numerous occasions using my knives or other dishes that had just been used on meat, and he was fine. Nevertheless, it’s likely that many vegetarians do truly have problems digesting meat, and may see huge benefits to their health by remaining vegetarian that others would not have.

Weight loss is an interesting category. “Studies” have shown that aerobic activity actually makes people gain weight, and that “diets” don’t work for losing weight. Not all studies have shown that, of course, but taken with the populace at large, these things supposedly are not effective.

And yet… They work. If you hang around weight training and bodybuilding circles, there is no mystery whatsoever about gaining or losing weight. If someone expressed doubt that reducing their caloric intake would result in losing weight, they would be laughed at and mocked.

And what they are saying is not only true, but most people in this space don’t seem to have too much trouble gaining or losing weight.

So where’s the disconnect?

I’d argue that the average person has little to no agency in terms of affecting change in their life. They follow a script and rarely deviate from it. They do what they feel like.

You can’t tell them to just “eat less” because they won’t.

Someone who is a bodybuilder has probably already demonstrated that they do not fit this mold at all. They are capable of doing difficult, even painful things in order to improve themselves. For them, eating a little less is no great challenge.

These are all just examples. They may be flawed in parts, but the main point I’m making is that just because some research has determined something doesn’t work, doesn’t mean that it should be discounted entirely.

Obviously pseudo-science and outright falsehoods abound, but I suspect there are tons of things in this world that are not supported by consensus in the modern scientific community, yet may be tremendously beneficial for specific individuals.

Or if you look at people who are top performers in just about anything… It’s easy – especially when looking at high-earners – to simply point to survivorship bias. To say that they didn’t do anything to get there, and that the vast majority of people doing what they did failed.

We may look at their habits and routines and point to evidence that says those things do not work, and it would be supported by evidence.

But what if a given routine just doesn’t work for most people? 

The vast majority of people could not handle most of the tactics bodybuilders don’t even think twice about.

I have to believe that there are tons of things that would be tremendously beneficial to individuals either of unusually-high intelligence or self-discipline. I think I need to be completely open to that possibility, and not write-off things just because the previous studies haven’t found them to be beneficial among the general population.

The general population isn’t capable of tons of things that are helpful. I may find considerable value in places others have written off.

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I Need to Think of Myself Like a Plant

This post is basically just a rehash of my post from a week or two ago, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot more and it really feels extremely relevant.

Basically, I need to think of myself like a plant.

What does that mean?

Plants don’t think or feel. They simply do their thing. Some are far more successful than others, and it’s all a combination of the right conditions that allow them to thrive.

And I’m realizing more and more that we are more or less the same.

We think we’re so smart and can will our way through anything, but at the end of the day our output is almost exactly correlated with our inputs.

None of my most productive days have ever come after a terrible night’s sleep, when I’m hungover, or when I’m sick. And more than likely nearly all of my best days have followed a period of sobriety, great sleep, and low stress.

It may feel in the moment like bursts of energy and creativity are totally spontaneous, but they aren’t at all. They come when all of your inputs are optimized and you’re feeling good as a result.

I honestly feel really silly for never realizing this before.

I once wrote that it’s arrogance to be too idealistic or optimistic about yourself or your abilities; especially regarding your willpower. While calling it “arrogant” feels like a bit of a judgement, the fact remains that thinking you can still be at your best even when you’re feeling terrible is simply false.

I feel like now that I have this understanding, I need to strive to maximize my inputs as much as possible. I need to get everything in place and do just about everything right on a consistent basis to maximize my output.

Throughout this blog I’ve spoken about weight training, and one thing that I like about it is that it provides objective feedback about how I’m doing. Whereas tracking a subjective measure of how I’m feeling may not always yield valuable results, the objective nature of weight training can’t be biased and is often far more useful.

I’ve started really focusing on giving myself the correct inputs to improve at weight training, and it has started to pay off. I’m rapidly approaching the strongest I’ve ever been. I can almost immediately tell that my efforts have paid off.

These results directly prove my idea. If I eat well (and enough), provide adequate rest and recovery, and don’t drink too much or otherwise sabotage myself, I can put in a great effort in each session and the next time I’ll be able to lift more.

It doesn’t really matter how much effort I’ve put in during the workout. At least not the “conscious” kind of effort requiring me to push myself uncomfortably hard.

If all the conditions are met, I will push myself the correct amount and I will immediately be rewarded with tangible results.

This may not be as obvious in other areas of life simply because I don’t have an obvious, objective measure. But I feel like there’s no question that it’s there. The impact is likely far greater in my life more broadly than it is just for weight training. After all: while there is a limit to how much I could conceivably lift (and I’m already a good chunk of the way there), there’s no limit to how “successful” I can be.

So this may be a nearly identical re-hash of the other blog post, but I’ve just continued thinking about it and felt I needed to expand upon it a bit more.

Armed with this understanding, I may have to change many things in my life.

 

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Giving Anything Up Makes me Vulnerable to Slipping Elsewhere

This is one of those posts that feels a little bit like… Duh. But it’s still worth discussing.

Recently, I uninstalled the YouTube app from my phone, because I wasting way too much time using it. The goal was, of course, to not waste time on YouTube.

And I found that the first day after that, I was very anxious and had a hard time concentrating. As a result, I slipped in other areas.

It took me a long time to get going with work, and other tasks that I as trying to complete just didn’t get done.

Granted, I now know that I was also coming down with covid at the time, so it’s not entirely fair.

But even so, I think the point stands: when trying to quit something, you use up a lot of your willpower and energy and it makes other things harder.

I just need to be careful with that. I can’t let everything fall apart when I’m trying to accomplish just one thing.

I’ve also realized that I still have a social media problem. Because now I’m just using the YouTube website a lot, now that I don’t have the app. It’s not better.

I’ve tried to get my social media use down to near zero and I’ve struggled to do it. I think the addiction is actually way more powerful than anyone thought.

That’s it for now. I think I’ll try to really get rid of YouTube (and all social media) going forward.

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If I Have the Right Conditions, I Thrive – What Feels like Self-Discipline Often Isn’t

I’m currently dealing with my second bout with covid. Even so, today I got up early, I got my studying in quickly, I got all my work done and was productive there, and I even added in a weight training session and a sunset walk around the neighborhood.

Many of these things – especially the physical activities – weren’t really planned. I kind of just did them.

And it made me realize that a huge percentage of my behavior is really just based upon having the right conditions. I like to believe that I’m a free-willed being that strategically uses discipline and willpower to do exactly what’s needed at any given moment.

But in reality, I’m starting to think I have more in common – day-to-day – with a hamster that just needs to have enough food, water, clean bedding, and a wheel.

I think back to times when I’ve been super productive and even gone above and beyond on extra projects, and I’m realizing that it wasn’t any extraordinary effort or careful planning or anything like that. I just… Did it. I finished all my normal tasks, and still felt like accomplishing things, so I did.

And then I think about times when I wasn’t nearly as productive. And often it’s just the case that I got to the end of the day and just had nothing left in the tank. No desire to get anything done.

Now that I’m stating all of this, it seems so incredibly obvious. And yet I feel like I’ve almost never expressed in this blog before how critical it is that I get these conditions right.

Maybe it’s because I’ve so infrequently done it, so I never really knew.

Either way, I now believe that there is almost nothing more important than setting up the right conditions for myself to thrive. These are things like:

  • Getting adequate, quality sleep (treating sleep apnea is obviously key here)
  • Not drinking much or at all
  • Keeping up with exercise (both weight training and cardio)
  • Eating well
  • Staying hydrated
  • Staying on top of work
  • Keeping my home well-maintained
  • Keeping personal relationships in order and an active social life
  • Keeping up with hobbies

Of these, the first two are probably by far the most important both short and long-term. As long as those are good, I should generally have the energy to handle all of the rest.

Now clearly, self-discipline still has its place. And energy should still be used strategically, especially for things like building effective habits. But those are all multipliers.

I feel like establishing these conditions is really the base of my productivity and well-being, from which all success – in all areas – springs. Habits, willpower, and just about everything else – including productivity “hacks” – are really just going to be multipliers beyond that.

But 0 times 1000 is still 0. So if you don’t have the base established, you’re still going nowhere.

And either way, it is far easier to establish a new habit or stay on track if all of these conditions are met. When I’m well-rested and everything else is in place, it feels like I can do anything easily. There’s far less need for discipline or “willpower”.

While improvements from treating my sleep apnea haven’t come quite as quickly as I had hoped, I’m realizing now that many of them have absolutely have come.

Before treatment, it felt like I was exhausting all my willpower every day just to do the bare minimum. I didn’t have these conditions met, and so every day was kind of a struggle.

It wasn’t immediately obvious because I wasn’t “dropping the ball” on anything critical just to keep going, but long-term I think it manifested in lack of growth and other long-term initiatives stagnating.

But now… Even while recovering from covid, things are easier than they were. I can finish everything and still have energy left for more projects.

Obviously it’s better when I’m not sick, but the point remains that I didn’t have this before. It’s very subtle in that I don’t actively “feel” super different, but my behavior is totally different. I can get so much more done, my thinking is way more clear, and really it’s just all better.

Going forward, I need to prioritize getting these conditions right nearly all of the time. That may even entail near or total teetotaling. I’ve intentionally not really placed any limitations on myself in that area since ending my year-long break, just to compare. But the results seem to be clear: the benefits do not outweigh the cost.

I haven’t made any firm decisions yet, but either way: I will be much more conscientious going forward about making sure all my conditions are met to maximize my success – in all areas.

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I’m Growing Tired of a life of Entertainment, and Increasingly Interested in Creation & Connection

I’ve had a variety of posts in the past that touch on some of these themes, but more than ever, I feel myself becoming less interested in simply being entertained or consumption and more interested in creating things of my own or genuine connection with others.

This is particularly evident after a night where I just stayed in and played games or watched shows or movies. If that’s all I did, the next day I always just kind of feel hollow. Like I wasted the whole day.

Conversely, when I focus on improving myself – whether that’s reading, developing a hobby like guitar or disc golf or another sport – or just socializing and connecting with others, it feels much more rewarding.

I think I’m at a point in my life now where I just really need to focus on improving myself more and getting into the habit of almost exclusively engaging in activities that are going to bring me long-term improvement and satisfaction.

And simply consuming entertainment is not going to do that.

It’s not to say I can never just enjoy things. And particularly at this moment, I feel like it still has a place as I feel like I improve after my sleep apnea diagnosis. I don’t want to be too hard on myself, and sometimes it’s totally fine to just relax and enjoy something.

But I want to continue moving towards creation and improvement. I think that is going to really help me long-term.

I want to cultivate a sense that I’m providing value to the world and to myself beyond just my job. That I am inherently talented and capable.

I suspect it may just be human nature to desire that. Regardless of why I want it, I feel that it is quite important and I’d like to achieve it.

Historically, it has often felt overwhelming to focus on anything difficult after work. It has sort of felt like just doing my work and working out were the only things I had the bandwidth for, and so the rest of the time all I could do was just enjoy entertainment.

But as my energy returns, I’m starting to feel like I can and should be doing way more than that. So that’s what I’ll do!

I’m sure similar ideas and updates on this same one will come up over time.

 

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On the Importance of Sleep

If there’s one specific topic that comes up more than any other in this blog, it’s sleep.

Time and time again I have recognized the issues with my sleep schedule and attempted to fix them, only to fail over and over again.

It’s time I finally did something about it.

I feel like I constantly have brain fog, except on days when I sleep really long. But if I sleep really long, I can’t sleep well the next night, and my problems continue.

It’s possible the implications of this are massive.

So for starters, I’m going to finally do the one thing they’ve been telling us to do for ages. I’m going to put my phone in a different room and sleep without it near me. I just bought an alarm clock and am finally going to try that out. It might make a big difference!

I’ll probably also try to minimize doing anything else in bed. Without a phone, I’m hoping it’s way easier to just get up immediately and get going. I should probably also not do anything else in bed, including reading. I might have to either read in another room or get a chair I can read in.

I think my sleep has just generally been pretty terrible, and even though I’m spending a lot of time in bed, it’s not quality sleep and as a result, my memory is terrible and I have constant brain fog.

Overall, I think I need to do all of the following things:

  • Leave phone in another room
  • Get up at the same time every day
  • Limit time in bed to like 8.5 hours
  • Don’t do anything in bed other than sleep
  • Get out of bed right away after the alarm goes off and no snoozing
  • No naps

I need to develop my circadian rhythm and I need to have quality sleep when I’m trying to sleep. Anything short of that is just going to cause serious problems for me.

I know I’ve tried similar things countless times before, but this time I’m serious. It has to happen.

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I Always Seem to Believe that there is One Thing that is Holding me Back

If you were to read through my blog posts back-to-back, you’d probably come across a general theme.

I always seem to believe that I’d be performing better, if only I fixed this one thing.

That thing, of course, changes. It might be drinking, it might be my sleeping habits, it might be my relationship, the way my business is set up, nutrition, fitness, or other self-imposed limitations.

But I always seem to believe that my true potential – not just for accomplishment but for performance – has never actually been realized.

Almost all of the things mentioned do impact my performance. And I believe I am much better for having tried to optimize all of them.

But at the end of the day… I hate to say it, but I think this is kind of it. I’m never going to be a bottomless well of energy and I’m never going to magically start performing way better than I did before.

I think at this point I basically need to accept that, and take pragmatic steps forward.

All the building blocks are there. I’ve established time and again the importance of building habits and systems that can ensure that I’m performing day in and day out.

And I’ve had lots of successes. I’ve developed lots of great habits that have, indeed, carried me through many hardships and on to various accomplishments in other areas.

But overall, I feel that there’s still a huge ebb and flow of productivity. I get motivated and I go crazy, but then I go through a rough patch and I tell myself I need to relax and take it easy because I just need to recover.

Maybe I’m just trying to do too much at once. Maybe I need to ensure that I never add on more than one thing at a time. That I just add small little things to my day that will help me move forward with various projects.

I’m not sure exactly what the answer is, but I do think that it’s important to just acknowledge that this is more or less as good as it’s going to get, and then plan accordingly.

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Willpower & Motivation are Resources to be Cultivated and Used Strategically

We’ve all heard that you shouldn’t rely on the nebulous idea of “motivation” to get things done or achieve success, but I think that’s a very facile precept that should really be expounded upon.

In general, I think it’s a good idea, but we need to clarify a few points.

Note that I’ll basically use “willpower” and “motivation” interchangeable here, but I’m really referring to the same thing.

I think motivation is like a superpower that you have, but it’s not inexhaustible.

The reason people say that is because some people tend to only get things done when they have large amounts of motivation, and then they have no discipline or structure in place to keep going once it inevitably runs out.

And so yes, I agree with the statement that motivation should not be solely relied upon to get things done.

So how should it be used?

Just like any other resource.

It should cultivated, fostered, and spent or used strategically where its impact will be the greatest.

There are many implications of this paradigm, so I’ll go through them one at a time.

First, willpower must not be wasted. 

This could mean a numbers of things; you shouldn’t use it to accomplish pointless things, it shouldn’t be underutilized, and most importantly: I think that you should set up your day-to-day life to minimize its use.

The most obvious way to do this is what all the self-help and productivity “gurus” tout, which is to establish habits and routine. And this is, in fact, great advice.

Not only will these things keep you productive during extended periods where you have no motivation, they will also amplify the impact when you are motivated.

Think of it like a discount. The same task takes much less motivation because it’s already a habit.

And once you’ve finished your habits, you have much more motivation leftover to tackle additional tasks.

Building habits is, by far, the most important thing you can do for productivity and for maximizing the impact of your motivation and willpower. I’ve talked a lot about it in the past, though, so I don’t need to go into much more detail here.

But in addition to habit-building, it’s also important to plug any obvious willpower “leaks”.

So, for example, let’s say you’re trying to eat healthier. You could buy all the same things at the grocery store like junk food, and then leave it lying around your house every day.

The end result would be that throughout the day, you are constantly seeing the junk food and having to use up some willpower to avoid eating it. You won’t have much of it left for other activities, and you may even run out at some point and give in and eat the junkfood.

So what’s the solution? Easy!

Just stop buying it to begin with. Grocery shop right after eating if you have to, and only buy healthy things. You won’t have any unhealthy options left in your house to be tempted by, and the net effect is that you aren’t using up your willpower on something stupid.

This same concept could apply to lots of other areas, too. Besides obvious ones like not having alcohol lying around if you’re trying to quit drinking, you can also do things like blocking distracting websites on your computer, uninstalling unproductive apps on your phone, and removing activities from your life that you greatly dislike.

The net result is that you’ll have much more consistent motivation leftover to use in areas where it makes the most sense.

The next concept is that you should do everything you can to maximize production of willpower.

Entire books have gone into detail both defining what “willpower” is and also how to maximize it. But in general, I think you need to get the basics of a healthy lifestyle right.

Eating right, sleeping well, avoiding excessive stress (even though short-term stress can help you power through things), and keeping yourself happy are all important to maximizing willpower.

If you’re unhealthy, chronically stressed, or depressed, you probably are going to be severely lacking in motivation and willpower.

Next, you need to use your motivation and willpower on important activities that will have the greatest impact.

You could use it all on tedious tasks that probably could be automated or outsourced. Or you could even do nothing with it and just give in to entertainment even though you’re very motivated.

But instead, you should be using it primarily on high-value activities that are likely to improve your long-term earning or productivity potential.

At the start of this year, my motivation was fairly high. I was being productive in basically all areas. I’d finish my normal work for the day, and then I’d proceed to make great progress on my long-term business goals and some personal ones.

And that was basically every day.

But then, starting at the end of Spring, all of that motivation seemed to dry up. I’ve discussed and speculated on the causes of that at length in other posts, but the important thing now is that I got to see first-hand what the difference was for me between being very motivated and having no motivation.

And it was stark.

Basically all of my efforts beyond just the regular day-to-day stuff completely dried up. I never did any of the business initiatives nor the personal ones. And it has been a little depressing.

This goes to show just how important it is. With it, things go so much better.

It showed me that while it is important to have habits in place (which kept me generally on-track), willpower is still incredibly important and can greatly amplify the impact of your efforts.

It’s starting to come back now, I think, and I have big plans for it. I’m really hoping to make the most of it and get all of my other initiatives back on track.

I want to focus hard on my long-term growth initiatives in my business and really focus on acquiring other companies. It will probably require a lot of manual effort but I suspect that it will be worth it in the end.

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I Think I Really Do Need to Relax

So I’m starting to just generally feel better, and my sleep has improved, and in general things are just better. And I think it’s just because I’m finally relaxing and don’t feel like I have to just keep going nonstop.

I think that for several months, I pretty much just felt a constant stress and anxiety. I had a bunch of projects going simultaneously with aggressive timelines and constant issues, and I always had the looming problems of half-planned trips that not only required urgent planning attention, but would also take me away from being able to address everything else.

And I just felt it, constantly. I couldn’t truly enjoy anything because in the back of my mind I was constantly worried about the other things.

It was a physical reaction. I assume that it was just the regular stress response, but spread out over months without any breaks. As we know well, that leads to chronic inflammation and other problems. It’s definitely not a good long-term state.

But I’m finally starting to feel better.

I think I do really just need to relax. Obviously the solution isn’t to just “relax”, since that may be nearly impossible depending on the circumstances.

But I need to be careful about my circumstances to make sure I CAN relax.

I certainly need to be careful about what projects I take on, and especially the timing of them. I had some overlap and that proved to be a problem.

They also overlapped with trips in which I had no internet and wouldn’t have time anyway to manage them, which is far from ideal.

Going forward, for projects that need constant management, I should only ever take them on if I’m going to be fully available with plenty of wiggle room on either end.

And if I’m burnt out, I need to be okay just taking a break from traveling or whatever else I’m doing. I think that the next month and a half will be quite restorative.

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I Should Focus on Opportunities, not on Worries

I was feeling pretty good this morning; better than I have in a while. And I realized that I had basically spent all morning thinking about positive, future opportunities.

A project I was excited to get started, some growth possibilities in my company, potential get-togethers with friends.

And it left me feeling good. I was also focused and productive and felt more motivated than usual.

In contrast, I feel like lately I’ve almost exclusively focused on worries and concerns. I’ve been super busy with a bunch of different things and stressed because of some projects. My mind has been focusing on what could go wrong and how I should address it and never on things that could go right and what a difference that would make.

I feel like I used to always focus on opportunities and positive things, but somewhere along the way, I switched.

I just read an older blog post where I was super motivated. I’ve come across a bunch of these. My energy, excitement, and enthusiasm before the pandemic seem to have been unstoppable.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t in as good of shape and still drank and generally hadn’t gotten my life together as much, I still seemed to have a motivation that I have never been able to match since. And I’ve commented on it while going through old blog posts.

Maybe that’s when it happened.

Maybe it was the fear and worry and general anxious atmosphere surrounding the early days of the pandemic that flipped some kind of switch in me. I started focusing on the negative rather than the positive, and maybe I’ve never come back from that.

And that’s a shame.

But more than just being a shame, it’s really counter-productive.

I think about where my head has been at, and it’s silly. I’m wasting all my time worrying about a small, one-time project I have going on. More than likely it will end up fine, but regardless: the long-term difference between the most positive and most negative outcome on my life is quite small.

This is the case for virtually everything I worry about.

Conversely, I am currently in talks to acquire a hosting company with hundreds of websites. The positive impact this could have on my business and my life is massive. Long term, we’re talking maybe 3 orders of magnitude greater than the project I’ve been worried about.

And now that I’m thinking about it: it’s absolutely insane. I’ve been giving the negative thing more space in my head than the positive thing that’s potentially 1000 times more important.

I need to totally rewire myself to think almost exclusively about opportunities. Because the aforementioned opportunity is just one opportunity I have right now. There is no limit to others I could have. I just need to be focused on opportunities and how I can achieve everything I’m looking to do.

Honestly, even writing this out, I am getting a bit of a tinge of excitement realizing what I could be doing and how much I’ve been missing out on. I’ve gotten the fundamentals right in so many areas of my life, and I feel like I’m poised to make some big moves if I just focus on the big opportunities and implementing all of the initiatives I think of.

After all, most of the things I’ve tried have worked up until this point. Some have taken longer than others, and some have obviously led to more success than others.

But I’ve had very few abject failures, and most things have worked out in the end if I have put enough work into them.

So from now on: I just need to focus not just on being positive, but on the big picture, on growth, and on the opportunities I have.