This is sort of a weird thought with possibly no discernable value, but still interesting to think through.
People who are really, truly struggling just to live – like people who can’t even afford to buy food or shelter or those in war – have a very clear sense of purpose: survival.
Coming from a first-world country and a middle-class family, I’ve never had to worry about whether or not I’d have food to eat or proper shelter (although much of my childhood was spent in a home that would aggressively leak water from the ceiling when it rained).
When you come from that, the possibilities are endless. I’m guaranteed to have food and shelter, so then… What exactly is my purpose?
Obviously I’m not the first person to question this. Watch any movie from pre-9/11 America and the themes always involve a lack of purpose and rebellion against consumerism since, seemingly, those were the biggest problems facing all Americans at the time.
It’s incredibly silly, but a part of me envies that level of clarity in purpose. You don’t have to question your motivations for anything, you may not have to think long-term because you’re only focusing on surviving another day.
Now obviously, I’m romanticizing a terrible situation and I absolutely do not want any of that. And while I’m describing it as “freedom from the burden of unclear purpose,” it could more accurately described as “not having the privilege of choosing a purpose.”
I’m not a psychologist, but I assume that this envy of that component of things just comes from a more general unease. With unlimited options, I don’t feel like my environment pushes me towards anything.
I think many of us are now faced with the timeless question of, “what do I do with my life?”
I’m not sure we evolved to be equipped to answer that question. And it causes problems.
Part of me thinks that’s the real reason people still have kids. When you care for another life, you feel like you have purpose.
And from what I’ve read, parents are actually less happy than childless individuals, but they do feel more fulfilled. Maybe that purposeless void gets filled for them.
Maybe just having someone that needs you quiets that unsettled part of your mind that’s overwhelmed with a level of opportunity it isn’t equipped to comprehend.
I feel like I know people who are totally content to just be, and I envy them, too (to an extent). They just enjoy what they have and don’t seem to be bothered by any perceived lack of purpose in their life.
I think I’m someone who needs to have some kind of purpose. I need to be working towards something. But as my stretch goals and dreams have slowly become reality, I guess I find myself feeling a little aimless.
I was under no illusions that meeting goals would solve all my problems or suddenly make me fulfilled.
But perhaps I wasn’t fully prepared for what it would feel like to not have a lot of tangible goals left.
Sure, I have financial goals and some personal goals, but whereas in the past I felt like I was seeking an entire “life” that I didn’t know, I now sort of feel like… I have that life.
And like… It’s cool. But what now?
Where do I go from here?